• Amanda M. Pericles

Friending While Adulting


Adulting is difficult. You have to work, pay bills, and convince other people that you aren't a child anymore. You also have to deal with the reality that you don't live two minutes from your childhood friend's house anymore, you aren't being thrown into the academic-social environment that is school, and you actually don't really like your coworkers. It is then when many of us realize that making friends is hard work. Who would've thought?

I'll be the first to admit that I was THAT friend a few years back, venting to one of my best friends about how I was jealous that she and another friend were living their lives, making new "best friends", barely contacting me. I'm the type of person who doesn't like change, and the fact that I felt like I was being left behind was taking a toll on me. I was also in a pretty serious relationship, whereas my friends were enjoying being single or being in relationships that were much different from mine. It was here when my friend called me out on my immaturity, telling me I should try making new friends. Despite the cognitive dissonance spewing in my head, I became whiny and petty, saying that we shouldn't have to make new friends, because we have each other (lol what?). Looking back on it, I was being a real baby - duh. I really thought I'd never make any friends! I was working, I never went out, I had my significant other, and I was pretty isolated, geographically. When was I supposed to meet people?! This wasn't 2009, when people friended whoever they wanted on Facebook and didn't care about creepers. (But, no, seriously ... why did we do that?) Also, I was the extrovert who dabbled in obnoxiousness, so I had become pretty conscious and observant within my social interactions and often wondered if people actually liked me, since I'd experienced lack of genuineness (is that even a word?) in the past.

Fast forward to these past couple of years. I still remain in my relationship; the only married one within my friend group. We're all still far apart, which stinks, and I don't have many married friends outside of Twitter. I still sometimes feel a way when I see my friends hang out and post about their other close friends ( ... I'm working on it), but I know that I'm putting in the effort to maintain these relationships. Despite the varied paths we've taken and the very different adults we've come to be, we can still say we're best friends, and I'm okay with that. I've also been blessed with two great friends in the couple of years! I still got my husband. I still have my old friends. My life is basically the same, but I came to realize in the last few months that God really took care of my worry, even when I didn't explicitly ask Him to. It took a little while, but patience is a virtue, right? These new friends are amazing, thoughtful, talented, intelligent women, and I'm so grateful to have them in my life! If you like art or bioethics, feel free to check them out on Instagram or their website!

If you're anxious about finding ways to meet new people or make friends and are willing to try something new, my friend has recommended meetup.com more times than I can count! And if you're like me, hang in there, and don't give up! Making friends is difficult for lots of people. You're not alone.

Happy Friending,

YAA

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